“I got this superb garment in the mail
today. I could tell right away that there was something different about
it--perhaps the chorus of Angels singing as a lone ray of light from heaven shone
brilliantly upon this coat, while I was indoors. Yes, its powers are that
potent.
Not wanting to wait a moment more, I ripped off my old Columbia jacket with a barbaric YAWP that must've been heard many, many feet away. I pulled on Shag Master and providence moved.
I was no longer the same person. I mean, I was me, but so much more! It was as if Chewbacca himself melded powers with me. I was no longer just sexy. I was sexy AND a Battle Hardened Wookiee. I was and am now an official Rebel Fighter!
PROS:
* Quality-made: it fits just like it should, and although I'm not certain, I'm pretty sure that I'm now bullet-proof.
* The Shagness is mesmerizing. When I walk into a room, everyone's gaze is drawn to my bosom and I'm not even a chick!
*I've only had it for a few hours, and I've already had several people pay homage to my greatness by randomly giving me money and asking me to date their daughters (men, too...that's a bit creepy, but whatevs).
CONS:
* I inexplicably start every sentence with the words, " RRRAARRWHHGWWR." Weird.
* I'm married, and well, the women are insane over my now over-the-top masculinity. I have to keep telling them that this fine specimen of man is taken. Over and over again. Ugh."
Not wanting to wait a moment more, I ripped off my old Columbia jacket with a barbaric YAWP that must've been heard many, many feet away. I pulled on Shag Master and providence moved.
I was no longer the same person. I mean, I was me, but so much more! It was as if Chewbacca himself melded powers with me. I was no longer just sexy. I was sexy AND a Battle Hardened Wookiee. I was and am now an official Rebel Fighter!
PROS:
* Quality-made: it fits just like it should, and although I'm not certain, I'm pretty sure that I'm now bullet-proof.
* The Shagness is mesmerizing. When I walk into a room, everyone's gaze is drawn to my bosom and I'm not even a chick!
*I've only had it for a few hours, and I've already had several people pay homage to my greatness by randomly giving me money and asking me to date their daughters (men, too...that's a bit creepy, but whatevs).
CONS:
* I inexplicably start every sentence with the words, " RRRAARRWHHGWWR." Weird.
* I'm married, and well, the women are insane over my now over-the-top masculinity. I have to keep telling them that this fine specimen of man is taken. Over and over again. Ugh."
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